Reading True North

On and off for the past couple weeks I've entered into the life story of Jill Ker Conway, scholar of history and first woman president of Smith College. The second of the books that comprises her memoir, True North, chronicles her scholarly, professional, and emotional development through her move from Australia to the US to attend Harvard, her marriage and its development in the culture of academia, and her foray into higher education administration. I could have rabbit-eared dozens of pages, but because I am swapping my book for the first book of her memoir tomorrow which a colleague has been reading, I hesitated to do so.

Now that the trend is for women outnumber men on college campuses, it's hard to imagine the days when women struggled to gain access to higher education. I found myself marveling at her ability to navigate the world of academia. I also found myself moved by the way in which her academic work engaged her personal journey. Quoting one of her graduate school instructors, "One's research should always involve some element of therapy. It only counts if it's really close to the bone."

For the past few years, I've listened for what seems close to the bone, allowing the many external options to fade and the predominant themes from my own life to come to the foreground. I see the next few months as a time to hone my research based on the topics that strike closest to my core--women finding their voices, women leading informally for the good of society, promoting empathy and understanding, particularly where religion has divided.

I've found this to be the hard work that I am tempted to put off while I search craigslist for housing in Jakarta, which inevitably leads me to vacation housing in Bali. I'm just saying...it's a little distracting. While much of me tugs to do the tangible, practical preparation, I know I need get in the middle of my personal and emotional motivations for my research and where north will be in my own journey.