Protesting Presumption

Indonesians have an expression that they use when they have not done something. Rather than saying tidak, or “no,” they say belum, which means “not yet.” I recall an early conversation I had with someone before I knew such a phrase existed. She had asked if I had kids and I said “no.” Then I asked if she had kids and she said, “no, I am not married…not yet.” I remember thinking, wow I wonder if that’s a statement of faith, she is not married now, but believes that she will be someday. Not yet. Interesting. And, I let it pass.

Later I realized she was translating a common Indonesian expression, one I use daily now. “Have you visited Bali?” Belum. “Have you tried Durian?” Belum. “Do you have kids?” Belum. While it’s a fine expression as a response to certain questions, for others it sounds presumptuous. For starters, “not yet” indicates desire. Secondly, it indicates probability. So what if I don’t want to go to Bali (just for the sake of argument)? Or what if I can’t have kids? Do I really need to use belum if something may or may not happen? This goes for marriage too. Why can’t a simple “no” suffice? [Because if you answer with “no” you will be corrected…it’s belum]

I started thinking about how Indonesians would reply to a situation that was seen as negative or undesirable. Have you been in a motorbike accident before? Have you ever lost your hand phone? It was as I was considering whether belum would be used in these sorts of situations that I realized Americans have something to say for the negative scenarios: “No…knock on wood!” So unless we take appropriate action by banging on a wooden surface (or something resembling wood), we suspect the bad may come our way. This kind of presumption sounds a bit more like cynicism. And, I don’t really get the wood thing.

I continue to use belum in all the correct scenarios. And I am aware that my feelings about it have more to do with the differences in cultural expectations for marriage and child bearing than the word itself. Interestingly, I suspect Indonesians may be seeking to protest too. There’s a catchy song on the Indonesian airwaves. All the lyrics are in Bahasa Indonesian, except for one line.

She sings “I am single and very happy.”

Take that, belum.